Published November 28, 2009
Boy: What would you do if I were to die in a week?
Girl: I’d be with you every second.
Boy: What would you do, if I were to leave?
Girl: I’d follow you.
Boy: What if, I said I love you and want to be with you to the end?
Girl: I would say I love you too, and I will be with you to the end.
*Girl holds his hand tighter*
The boy dies a week later from cancer. Spending the last few moments in his arms, when she realized he wasn't breathing, she committed suicide. 'Forever' was written on the bullet that met her heart.
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141,304 Literary Works • 674,340 Reviews
This was really beautiful and poetic.
But it would make more waves as a narrative poem
Oh my God thats beautiful! Not that its good that she killed herself but still, so sweet
Awesome job, but its really short. I'd add maybe a little more dialouge and everything. Like, give insight as to how the boy died, and why she was in his arms when he did.
Keep up the good work!
-Irish
Good but really short, it could be a base for a poem or maybe if you elaborated on the piece and added more narrative, it would help alot.
This seems a bit too dramatic. Also This needs extension, try being more empathetic with how she feels. or maybe mention her movement in the narration.